Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘strength’

Controlled

Incessant and controlling
She plans every minute of every day
From each meal
To the details of her dress
There’s nothing that she can’t control in her life

To her the world is a puzzle
Each piece has its place
Every piece has its time
There’s a certain way things must go
It’s all part of a plan
Her plan

She cannot control
Her desire for control
She cannot stop
Organizing and reorganizing
Her life
And the world around her

Everything is compartmentalized
Everything must go according to plan

On the surface she is perfect
Living the life others could only dream of
But even perfect girls have their demons

Late at night
When the stillness of the night is most fragile
At the time of night, where light, sound, and sword can pierce
She is all alone
Her doubts
Her insecurities
Gnaw at her
She sees her flaws
And she wonders
Who would ever want such a disaster in their lives?

She thinks about
every action
every thought
every word
She has ever
said
done
thought
Again and again
Until she breaks down
Until she breaks apart
Like a mirror
Shards of herself
Reflected back

Monster
Demon
Harbinger of Disaster
Of Destruction
Of Death

A Midas
Who is nothing but trouble

Who would ever want someone like me in their lives?
She wonders

And when the sun rises again
She puts on a smile
Convinces her demons to sleep
Steps into the world
And allows the control to take over

It is her control that holds her together
It is her control that fools the world into thinking she has strength
It is her control that maintains her facade

But there is hope

For every demon in heaven
Every angel in hell
Every sinner
Every saint

There is hope

She is strong
She has survived
A fighter in every sense of the word
She has something that so many spend decades in search for
If only she could see it
And recognize how truly amazing she is

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Fruitless Future

Why do we live our lives wishing on
Wells
Stars
And coins

Why do we blow
On eyelashes
Out candles
For our dreams to come true

What has become of this world
To keep wishing for more
Why can’t we open our eyes and see
That we already have everything we could ever ask for

Look around for once
And stop asking for more

When did social media
Cell phones
And message boards
Become communication?
When did things replace people?

So many people hide behind
Computer
You never hear anyone’s voice anymore
Too scared too speak
With so many opinions

I hide behind my work
I am the writing I produce
I am aware of the paradox I’ve become
But why won’t I change

Because like everyone else
The sound of my own voice
The power behind my own words
Startles me
And I am afraid
Of what I’ve become
I am afraid
To show the world who I am
Because I don’t want to hurt again
And I refuse to see
The strength I have
And instead
Write a few lines
About the dreams that I have
The things I should do
And the places I’ll go

I Don’t Dress Pretty For You

I don’t dress pretty for you
I’m not just another piece of eye candy
In such a materialistic, consumerist society
Pleasure is for sale

I don’t dress up to impress you
I’m not just a doll for your entertainment
I have thoughts and feelings
That you could never fathom

Happiness comes at a steep price
Are you prepared to pay?

I was born to live
Like every other human being
I was born with purpose and direction
To be whoever I wish

So don’t you dare reduce me to my biology
I have strength enough to bring you to your knees
I will crush your hopes and dreams for a passive mistress
And make you beg for mercy

In this capitalist world
You can’t afford a girl like me

Giving in to Patriarchy’s Power

She was more herself
Hidden behind a screen
She was more herself
With the flourish of a pen
She was more herself
Strong and independent

To the untrained eye
She was meek
Shy
An introvert
A giggly school girl
A foolish rake

Without her pen
Without the power of anonymity
Her strength fades to submission
She would do anything
Just for his love 

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