Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘sad’

Priority

If you want me to stay
Give me a reason
I need to know I’ll always be your first priority
That you’d be willing to drop everything
To come to my aid

I need to know that you will push me to greater height
But not beyond my breaking point

Prove to me that you would
Choose me
Defend me
Protect me

If you can’t do that
If you won’t do that
Then I will walk
Because I learned years ago
A man does not define me

I don’t need him to succeed
To live
To love
I have myself

So give me a reason to keep you in my life
To stay in my life
You must earn it
And deserve it

Listening and Comfort

You’ve told me once before
You’re not the type to provide blind support
But sometimes in the moment
Consumed by emotion
That’s all I really need

I need you to tell me that it’s okay
That I’m not crazy for feeling the things I do
For thinking the way I do
For acting and lashing out

I’m not asking that you forget about logic and equality
Your impartiality has its moments
And I know I can be stubborn
Particular in my ways
But let me ask you to see this through my eyes

For what reason do I have to live if I am standing on my own?
Why remain in solitary confinement
Where no one cares
Where no one is here for me

When I’m standing all alone
When I’m looking for support
For a shoulder to cry on
You’re the one who’s supposed to be by my side
But you’re not
You stand beside everything that is hurting me
Telling me that there’s something more that I can do

I look at you
And I see the one person I care for more than life
The one person I’d give everything to
Turn your back on me
I put all my trust in you
And you abandon me

I’ll never be the same
I’ll never trust you enough to tell you how I truly feel
Not anymore
If you can’t stand by me
Then who can

I’ve always thought it would be us against the world
I guess I was wrong
It’s just me

 

Self Torture

It’s easy to tell your mind
Stop thinking these thoughts
It’s easy to reason with logic
And dismiss them as irrational

But the disconnect
Between heart and mind
Has caused me more troubles
Than it’s worth

I think and overthink
Until I don’t even know what the truth is anymore
I want to be loved
As I am loving you

I can’t blame you  for my insecurities and lapses
I only have myself to hold for that
But can you even love me
When you’ve seen how damaged I am inside
Will you abandon me
As so many others have before?

Why is it so hard for me to just tell you I love you?
Because maybe I’m afraid
Afraid that I’ll be hurt again
Afraid that you’ll laugh at me
Just like the others did

Maybe I should stop torturing myself
With these senseless mind games
And ask you how you feel

Rejection

How it feels
To feel again
The stinging pain
The familiarity

I once lived this life
I do not want to live again
A life of agony
Filled
With sleepless nights

How much longer
Will I last
Under forever crushing power

I want to laugh
To hold
To feel happiness again

How simple
How heartbreaking
A couple words can be

Thank you for trying
You say
Try again next year
You say
Study harder
My parents say

Where is my say?

Heartbreak

For months and months
It was you and I
Endless nights
And infinite mornings

Pictures, phone calls, Facebook messages
Texts.

Then they stop
They all stop
Days and days
Of looking forward
And going back
Huddled beneath my covers
Waiting for something new

I thought we had something special
I thought despite it all
You could and would still love me

Was I just a friend for the pleasures I could provide?
Or was there something more?
You said you valued me
For my ability to think and debate
But it turns out
You were just in it for yourself

A Helping Hand

Why are you so mad at me?
You only asked me to help
I did what I could
Not knowing anything on the subject matter

Why are you so angry all the time?
When I ask if this is what you want
All I want to do is help

Why are you yelling at me?
Too long have I lived in fear
Can’t I for once be loved?

A broken teacup cannot be rebuilt
Once shattered
Forever unrepairable

Please stop hurting me
I never deserved this
For trying to help

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