Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘sad’

Self Torture

It’s easy to tell your mind
Stop thinking these thoughts
It’s easy to reason with logic
And dismiss them as irrational

But the disconnect
Between heart and mind
Has caused me more troubles
Than it’s worth

I think and overthink
Until I don’t even know what the truth is anymore
I want to be loved
As I am loving you

I can’t blame you  for my insecurities and lapses
I only have myself to hold for that
But can you even love me
When you’ve seen how damaged I am inside
Will you abandon me
As so many others have before?

Why is it so hard for me to just tell you I love you?
Because maybe I’m afraid
Afraid that I’ll be hurt again
Afraid that you’ll laugh at me
Just like the others did

Maybe I should stop torturing myself
With these senseless mind games
And ask you how you feel

Rejection

How it feels
To feel again
The stinging pain
The familiarity

I once lived this life
I do not want to live again
A life of agony
Filled
With sleepless nights

How much longer
Will I last
Under forever crushing power

I want to laugh
To hold
To feel happiness again

How simple
How heartbreaking
A couple words can be

Thank you for trying
You say
Try again next year
You say
Study harder
My parents say

Where is my say?

Heartbreak

For months and months
It was you and I
Endless nights
And infinite mornings

Pictures, phone calls, Facebook messages
Texts.

Then they stop
They all stop
Days and days
Of looking forward
And going back
Huddled beneath my covers
Waiting for something new

I thought we had something special
I thought despite it all
You could and would still love me

Was I just a friend for the pleasures I could provide?
Or was there something more?
You said you valued me
For my ability to think and debate
But it turns out
You were just in it for yourself

A Helping Hand

Why are you so mad at me?
You only asked me to help
I did what I could
Not knowing anything on the subject matter

Why are you so angry all the time?
When I ask if this is what you want
All I want to do is help

Why are you yelling at me?
Too long have I lived in fear
Can’t I for once be loved?

A broken teacup cannot be rebuilt
Once shattered
Forever unrepairable

Please stop hurting me
I never deserved this
For trying to help

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