Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘love’

Even the Loyal Ones Cheat

A hundred days
A hundred years
In a blink of an eye
All to dust

And from the ashes you rise again
Not a phoenix
Nor a dragon
But unwanted

A monster of the deep
A perfect life disrupted

Friends
Lovers
Distant

You once held my respect
Re-enforced by truth
But it was only a facade

Roll after roll
Karma plagued you at every turn
Every stab at happiness
Ended with you bleeding out

All I wanted was for you to feel my pain
All I wanted was closure

What was once
A door in my face
Walls closing in
Is now my freedom

But somewhere
Echoing in the hollow caverns
In the barren cells
Buried in the recesses of my mind
Carved into the walls by a madman

“Even the loyal ones cheat”

I didn’t want to believe it
But when the words emerged
When the truth spilled forth
I felt nothing

Anger and sadness had long dispersed
Only disappointment remained

I wanted to scream
I wanted to cry
But nothing bubbles to the surface

Your words can’t reach me
You don’t deserve a reaction
For I know who I am

I found strength
When I thought I had none

I learned to build my walls from sand
Turned to stone
To create a fortress
That no other shall breach

You taught me something
I’ll never forget

I shall never give
My heart as freely as I once gave to you
For fortresses built from a shattered heart
Are filled with mistrust and deceit

And all the while
Life goes on
Filled with unwarranted optimism
My rose coloured lens
Now jaded
For every life
That walks in mine
Is spoiled
Because of you

It’s people like you
Invisible but present
That make others wonder why
I have trust issues

Threatened

Every glance
Every smile
Every gilded touch

Every moment
Every whisper
She steals away from you

Beside her
I feel
Inadequate
Small
Weak

A face that could launch a thousand ships
A smile that could start a war

She has it all
And I?
I have nothing
I am no one

You promise me
You love me
Always
And forever

But how
When human nature
Is so fickle
Can you promise such grandeur?

What does it feel like
To trust someone so completely
To give in
To surrender all defences
To believe

Too long have I known
The transient nature of love

I will never be good enough
I never have been

Like smoke
Flitting through my fingers
You are gone
Like so many before you
And I am alone again
Just as it’s always been

Empty promises
And fruitless dreams

You’re just another liar
Whom I’ve let in

Break down my defences
Enter through the gates
Trick me into trust
And wreak havoc on my heart

How I never learn
Is truly beyond me

One day I truly hope
I’ll learn to love myself

Morning Dew

It’s early morning
And dawn remains unbroken
You turn out the lights
As the door softly closes

A quick glance
Without regret
A soft mutter into the dark silence

A voice
That sparked joy
Can no longer hold you back
As time puts distance between us
And when the morning shines
It’s too late
For like dew
You are gone

Every trace
Every memory
Hazy and faded
Like an old photograph
Slowly disintegrating

And once more
I find myself
Staring into the abyss
Alone again

Of the Small Things

Prompt: How did you end up with that much?

She looked over at him.  Just a glance at first, but something made her do a double take.
“Wait a minute!”
“Hmm?”
He looked up, his mouth full of ramen noodles.
“How did you end up with that much?!”
“Of what?” he said, continuing to shove noodles in his mouth.
“That,” she said pointed to the noodles.
He looked at his bowl and then at hers and back at his and shrugged.  Her pouted and started inching closer to his bowl with her chopsticks.  A smiled tugged at the edges of him lips as he tried to conceal what he was about to do next.  Slowly, he began to inch his bowl away from her.
“Stop it!”
“Stop what?”
“Moving away from me!”
“I’m not!”
“You so are!”
With a swift motion, she drove her chopsticks into his bowl.  With his, he clamped down on hers, effectively preventing any movement.
She let out the most irritating whining screech that annoyed the hell out of everyone except for him; he found it endearing.  He laughed as she pouted again.
“Oh, come on babe.  I’m kidding, you can absolutely have some.”
“YAY!” she squealed at a pitch that was only audible to dogs.
He smiled again wrapping his arm around her waist.
And he thought he was the luckiest guy in the world.

The Colour of Her Eyes

Her phone rang.  Caller unknown.

She didn’t typically pick up calls from people she didn’t know, but something compelled her to do so tonight.  She immediately regretted it.

“Hello.”

“Minnie, it’s me.  You busy?  Wanna grab a drink tonight?  I can swing by your place and pick you up if you want?”

“Tonight…?”

“Or any night.  Look, baby, I’m sorry.  I fucked up.  There, I said it. I. Fucked. Up.  I should’ve never let you go.  I miss you so much and I want you back, baby.”

Three months ago she would’ve given anything to hear those words.  But that was three months ago.  She learned a lot about her own self worth in that time, to understand what it meant to love someone, to miss them, but to recognize that they didn’t deserve to be in her life anymore.

“Minnie, you still there?”

“Uhh, yeah.  Sorry, you were saying?”

“Do you think you can give me a second chance?  I mean, we’re only human, we all make mistakes.  You’re not perfect, but neither am I.  I made a mistake.  I’ve fessed up.  So you gotta take back, babe, that’s how this works right?”

“I-I don’t know what to say…”

“Yes, say yes.”

“Before I do, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.  Anything.”

“Tell me what colour my eyes are.”

“What?”

“What colour are my eyes?”

“If I answer this, I’ll get you back?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“Whether you give me the right answer.”

“There’s a wrong answer?”

“What do you think?  Of course, there is.”

“Uh…mmm…bl..ree…brown?”

The colour of her eyes held the warmth of saccharine liquid gold on a frigid, winter’s eve.  Their lustre rivalled that of the finest obsidian.  And the way sparkled in the sunlight, like golden sapphires made them all the more beautiful.  But the one thing that set her apart from all others was the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her passions; they were brighter than fireworks on the fourth of July.

To call them brown was like saying the ocean was big.  It wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t right either.  There were so many ways to describe her eyes that calling them brown was a huge injustice.  To the world, they were just ordinary, but to a lover, they were poetry.

Self Loathing Love

They say
To love someone
You must first love yourself
But I think it untrue

For loving you
I forgot
My pain
My loneliness
And self-loathing

Loving you
Showed me
I was capable
Of giving you my whole world
Of risking everything I believed in

By making my heart vulnerable
I was given a strength I knew not

But you shattered it
To a thousand shards

The resiliency of humanity
Will always surprise me

For from the ash and dust
From the infertile sands
A phoenix emerged
Burning ever so bright

Fire was never meant to be contained
Heartbreak showed me my true nature
That I will love
No matter the circumstance
No matter how broken I may become
No matter how many
Bandages
And stitches
I will always burn bright

For nothing can extinguish these external flames
Least of all
A boy
Who doesn’t understand what it means to love

Prompt: “You have to love yourself before you love anyone else” bullshit!  I have never loved myself, but you, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.

The Idea of Love

Looking back
On every poem you inspired
Makes me smiled
To remember the good times
And the bad
To remember the pain
But also the pleasure

It’s not that I don’t still love you
Or that I never did
But I realize now
I don’t miss you
I’ve never missed you
I’ve only ever missed the idea of loving you

Of being there
To support you as you go on your way
To nurture you and watch as you grow
To be by your side as you realized your potential

To give my everything
Was all I ever wanted
To find the home I never had
For home is not a place
But a person

People may come and go
But one will always remain
The one lives in my mind
Build by imagination
My first love
And my last

The day I see his face in you
Will be the day I stop falling in love with an idea
And start building the life
I’ve always dreamt

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