Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘Letter’

To The Boy I May Have Fallen In Love With

To The Boy I May Have Fallen In Love With,

I wish I could know how you felt about me: whether I’m just a friend or if there’s the potential for more. You have no idea what it’s like inside my head. Every conversation with you is a constant battle within myself, a battle between heart and mind. I don’t even know what it is I want! At times I wish only to remain friends and not ruining it by falling in love with you, but at others, in my times of loneliness and weakness, I wish that you and I could be together.

I’d like to give you some insight to my mind and introduce you to some of  the demons that torment me as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. The case I made for being friends is governed by logic. And the one for love? My heart of course.

For friendship I’d say we were never very close to begin with. It took time for me to open up to you and sometimes I had to push you to conversation. In these short conversations, I learned more and more about you, pulling me in, intriguing me to find out more about what made you who you were and what kind of a life you led. I found out that we had so many things in common, it seemed impossible that we had not become friends sooner. I had never met anyone who shared the same deep inner thoughts and desires as me. But sometimes I think this commonality is what restricts us to friendship. As a lover, we’d have too much in common to be able to sustain a healthy relationship. Besides all that, I just don’t want to ruin this friendship with love.

This reasoning is all for nothing when the heart has her say, for she dominates all in my life and more so in my love. My heart pleads for love, for release from this loneliness I’ve known for far too long. One that has now become my strength and source of inspiration. But she is right, love is a much stronger motivator. As Plato once said, love turns us all into poets, that of course being a paraphrase. But it’s true. You have no idea what a wonderful and caring person you are. Every moment I spend with you, every conversation fills me with such joy. You have no idea how perfect you are already. Any girl would be lucky to have a man like you.

It will always be in my nature to care about you, as it is for me to care for everyone around me. Regardless of if we remain friends or become something more, you can always count on me to be there when the world has turn its back on you. You will always be someone important to me. No matter how much stress you cause me, no matter how many times I have to read and reread that which I send to you, know that I will never want you to leave my life.

I’m sure, by now, that you know who you are. I just want you to know that I’ll be here waiting patiently.

Forever yours.

Letter to my Love

To the dearest Patron of my Heart,

Ever since I met you, life feels so much more…I don’t know how to describe it, but perhaps brighter would be an appropriate descriptor. Even on the cloudy days, there was a reason for me to smile. Each morning I woke, inspired by confidence to step out and be myself and for once to believe I was beautiful. Though I was still shy and still am to express how I feel directly to your face, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. You have brought to my life a joy I’ve never felt. I have felt more alive in this last month than I’ve felt in the last ten years. Ten years ago I fell in love with someone who did not return my feelings, but I still had feelings for him…for six years. He scared me into keeping my feelings to myself though I never really keep my feelings to myself. You can see it in my eyes, hear it in my voice, feel it from my soul and smell it from my heart. From everything I say and do, you know that I love you, but I just don’t know if you’ve picked up on it at all.

I keep making excuses, but they do have some truth. As much as I want to contact you, to be your friend, my propriety stops me. I know my boundaries and I’ll stay where I’m safe. I’ll admire you from afar and let the thought of you fuel me. When we first met, you already captured my heart. I doubted it, but a few more hours and I knew for sure. It used to be that I was only happy when you spoke to me, but as time went on, all it took was your car passing by. Now, however, it’s simpler than that. My imagination is not yet gone and it still reigns supreme. I’m glad you no longer cause me panic attacks in the middle of the night, causing me to wake with a start. You have become the comfort before I drift off each night and the reason for me to get up each day.

It’s only been a week since I saw you last and my hormones have calmed down. But this doesn’t mean I don’t still love you, only that there’s nothing new that can set my heart into overdrive again. I mean for us to meet again and wish someone else could slip the hint to you about how much I adore you. And if for once my love was reciprocated, I could be happy.

Though I barely know you, I can imagine the rest of forever with you. Not just till death due us part, but for much much longer than that.

Just remember everything I do is intentional. Every colour is symbolic. You hold the key to my heart. All the things I do, I do for you. You are my everything and that is dangerous.

Love and writing best brings out my paradoxical nature. We are all actors in this world and I’m just playing a part. I hope one day you will be the one who will lift that veil and see me for who I truly am. On that day, it will be the happiest day of our lives.

Sincerely your ever loving


Something to Think About


Dear friends,

I am sure you have heard the tragic news today… it can be hard to deal with news like that, something so senseless that our minds aren’t capable of handling. I know I am personally finding it very hard and cannot describe that darkness and the pain I am feeling. I see others too walking around campus with this dark cloud over them and my heart goes out to you all. 

I can only imagine what the families are going through; I pray that they can heal from this trauma. 

As for all of you, I have a request..please don’t ask questions or talk about it as if this is some detective story. It is human nature to be inquisitive, to question what happened, ask for details; who did it? Why? Was it mental illness? A police officers son! OMG!! on and on and on….

Here is why: a bereaving relative, family member, friend may be processing all of this too. And in this time and moment I don’t thing finding out the details is all that important. In this time of mourning, gather and pray, and reflect but do not waste your time nitpicking and gossiping about the event. I feel it is disrespectful to the family and to the affected people. Let us not get carried away in this curiosity and forget that there are REAL people involved. Not suspects, not victims, but person who has died or who is dealing with all of this. I think, those people/persons do not want to hear the “news updates” right now. What matters now is comfort, genuine caring and time to process all this.

In this Facebook world we quickly post things and talk about it as if we understand when in reality we are so far removed from the situation that I don’t think everyone can comment on it. So unless you genuinely have something to say please don’t share details of the events and speculate on what happened. Stop sensationalizing the tragic story, stop owning it as if it was your own, stop it, stop it, stop it. I just…I know I personally do not care what happened right now but only want silence and some space. People stop trying to figure out the “mystery”. And what the hell would you do if you knew what happened? How does it help you? What has happened has happened so do what you need to do to process it but be mindful that a lot of emotions and real people are involved.

Sabrina Afroz

For more information see the Calgary Police Service Facebook and YouTube pages.

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