Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘if i talked to my friends the way I talk to myself I wouldn’t have any friends’

Excuses for Resolutions

New Year
New me
Who will I be this year?
What will I do?
Say?

Cutting you down
That’s all I’ve ever known
We all make up lies
Procrastinate about the things we will do
Another time
Another year

Will this year be different?
How could it?

When I look at you
All I see are excuses
Each time you open your mouth
All I hear are lies

Why don’t you
Why can’t you
Admit it when you’re wrong?

Useless
Good for nothing
Piece of shit

Day in
And day out
A relentless assault
Words that shouldn’t hurt
From people who have promised to protect you
From those who call themselves your loved ones
Your confidents
Your best friends
Your parents
A trusted one

Slowly like water
Drip
Drip
Drop

Sinking in
Wearing you away
Until you can’t resist
Until you believe
Until physical pain manifests
And every thought is torture

Over and over
It’s your fault
Always
Nothing is ever right with you

I want to scream at you
What’s the matter?
Why are you so broken all the time?

Attention whore

These words
These “mantras”
Like a song on repeat
A depressing track

“Why?” you ask yourself

Little by little
Your self-worth slips away
Little by little
You recede into yourself
Pull away from your “loved ones”

Chipping away
Cracks appearing in your perfect facade

Somehow, you always knew
What a poor excuse for a human being?
A complete waste of space
Of air
Meaningless
A drop of water in an endless sea
Inconsequential

You tried so hard to push those thoughts away
But deep down
You knew
You aren’t special
It’s the lie you’ve always been told
Special…just another word for someone who couldn’t fit in
Someone who just wasn’t good enough
A label for a fuck up like you

No one will miss you when you’re gone

Will they?

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