Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘hate’

You Call It Love

Maybe you were brought up different than I
Maybe traditions and cultures taught you otherwise
But maybe, just maybe that’s not how I am

Life for me is not about pushes and pulls
Life is not about how long I can persist without praise
If I’ve done good
I’d want to know

All my life
I’ve had to earn my place
To earn your affection
And to do right by you

But have you ever thought
That maybe one day
I’d like to live a life that’s my own?

You thought you were doing good
By telling me what you thought was right
But what’s right for you
Is not for me

I am my own person
With my own personality
I have my own dreams
That aren’t yours

So please
I ask
That you stop manipulating me
That you stop and listen for once
And to see my side of life
Because not everything is my fault
And I can be right too

You can remain calm
I’m sure you’re capable of such a simple task
As you would tell me
But instead you get upset
You scream and you yell
And tell me to shut up
Because I’m useless and stupid
And have no idea what I’m talking about because I’m too young to know such things
And that I have no experience like you do
And afterwards?
When your heart starts to hurt
Who’s fault is it but mine?

You never had to get upset
It’s your own fucking fault
So why can’t you just own up
And admit you’re wrong
Just like you’ve told me to do time and time again

Children have always learned by example
Your actions will always speak louder than your words
So
Why don’t you quit lying to me
And get your own shit together
Before you have the audacity
To tell me what to do

You’ve worn me down
Both of you
Over the years
And I honestly question
My will to live on

You may say that’s the coward’s way out
But I’ve always thought that it takes a lot of courage
To finally accept
That you can’t try any harder
That you’ve done your very best,
Which will never be enough

I doubt you’d even cry
If today I died
All you’d have to say
Is how stupid I was to throw away such a great life
That I didn’t know real hardship

Well let me say
It hasn’t been easy
And it won’t get easier

It’s high time I take back what is mine
And live it the way I dreamt it would be
Even if it means I cut you out of my life

 

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Killing Hate

Hatred
Is an emotion that runs deep
That stems from that which we love most

Anger
Is an emotion that burns passionately
It is for and against those who we love most

It would be my pleasure
I would like nothing more
Than to put an end to what is nearest and dearest to my heart
To kill off the darlings I have created

One day I will have had enough
And it won’t just be my darlings I put an end to
One day it will be you
Your body lying still
Your mouth never again telling me what to do
What to say
Or what to think
For once in your life
You cannot critique me
Scold me
Or reprimand me
For the choices I make about my life
For once you’ve shut up
I live and I wait
For that day
When I will mourn your absence
But rejoice your silence

More complicated than that

You ask me what I want
But what kind of answer do you expect?
Do you expect me to say?
I want it black or white?
Do you expect me to want
Something answered by yes or no

I am not one dimensional
I am not a line
Even three dimensions
Isn’t who I am
I am more complicated than that

I feel a depth of emotion
That fluctuates with time
I feel a pain
Dull, but resonant
Across the ages

But who doesn’t want to be loved
To be held
When nothing goes their way

What will it take to make you understand?
I am a paradox that refuses to change
I thought you knew that
I thought you knew better
Than to change who I am

But I have to thank you
For you bring the best writing out of me
Happiness has never warranted poetry
Except for when happiness writes me a sonnet
But you are worthy of a sonnet
But unlike the men before you
You inspire me to be more than I could ever be
All that comes from the pain and pleasure of associating with you
Crystallizes upon a page
And shares with you
And a hundred others
The disappointment of association, expectation, and love

I’m tired of fighting
Why can’t I just be me?
Take it or leave
I will always be me

Seemingly

I feel like I may be the only one
Who feels what I feel
Though I know I am not
I feel the need to fit in
Yet don’t bother to conform
I feel the weight of my obligations
But act like I’m free

I am a mass of contradictions
A beautiful paradox
I feel like I’m unique
But like everyone else, the same

One minute I’m in love
With the flowers and the trees
With the sun and the breeze
With you and with me
And with the whole wide world
The next I’m imbued with deadly hate

I’m caring inside
I really am
Sometimes I’m shy
And can’t show you well

I have a million curiosities
Growing inside of me
But for fear of being rude
Keep quiet
And in turn am rude
For keeping quiet

So to those out there
I’ve offended with my shyness
Please forgive me
I have loved you the most

You are my sunshine
And you are my rain
I will never stop loving you
Until the day I start hating you

Prompt: writing – write a song or poem about yourself
music – compose a short song that describes you
drawing – draw a timeline of yourself/a before and after during a major change in your life or draw yourself then and now (10 year gap or something)

I love you irregardless

You are my sunshine and rain.

Prompt:  describe the person you love the most in six words

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