Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘fire’

Self Loathing Love

They say
To love someone
You must first love yourself
But I think it untrue

For loving you
I forgot
My pain
My loneliness
And self-loathing

Loving you
Showed me
I was capable
Of giving you my whole world
Of risking everything I believed in

By making my heart vulnerable
I was given a strength I knew not

But you shattered it
To a thousand shards

The resiliency of humanity
Will always surprise me

For from the ash and dust
From the infertile sands
A phoenix emerged
Burning ever so bright

Fire was never meant to be contained
Heartbreak showed me my true nature
That I will love
No matter the circumstance
No matter how broken I may become
No matter how many
Bandages
And stitches
I will always burn bright

For nothing can extinguish these external flames
Least of all
A boy
Who doesn’t understand what it means to love

Prompt: “You have to love yourself before you love anyone else” bullshit!  I have never loved myself, but you, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.

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In an Ivory Tower

When she was just a little girl
She was told
The World was her oyster
She just had to work hard enough
Long enough
Wish it and want it enough

It could all be hers

So came the day
She traded her sneakers for heels
Her morals for money
And her scars faded to ink

Until the day she met him
Where his days were her nights
Until that day
Till her very last
She had been taught
Forced to swear an oath
Never to be docile
Never to be meek
Always to assert
That which was hers
Always to fight
Like an animal cornered
For her rights and her beliefs
For no other would
To never show tears
Nor emotions
For they were weakness
Not strength

But the curve of his lips
And the depths of his eyes
Swept away her breath
From the moment he spoke
To her very sigh
Her heart was swept away
With his every line

And she learned from him
That there was strength in their love
An emotion
Something she never thought possible
She was his
And he was hers
And there was never a more beautiful ending

To think they found bliss
Living happily ever after
Would be a lie
For everything that came to her
Perished at her touch
The fantastical stories
She dreamt and wrote
Were lies she could never live

Happily ever after
Was someone else’s dream
Love was meant for someone else
Not her

Everything she touched
Everyone she loved
Turned to ash
Singed by the fire that followed her always
Waiting to destroy anything
That neared her heart
Protecting her
From the unknown and unseen enemy

So he
Like so many before him
Unable to bear the flames
Slain
By dragon fire

So he
Another casualty
Another failure
Another liar

She would learn
The promises of men
Would never be kept
Not to her
And should she want
A happily ever after
She would have to make her own

And so she befriended the dragon
Who had guarded her heart so fiercely
All these long years
And fell in love
With herself

Deep inside
She found a different kind of strength
That could only be realized through
Seeing the truth

She didn’t need anyone else
She never did
All along
She was more powerful
Than she had been led to believe

She just had to believe

And when the one
Finally came along
He made her flames soar higher
Burn hotter
And together
Set the world ablaze

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