Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Posts tagged ‘been on hiatus because of this novel’

The Pain of Pleasure and of Success

Do you know what it feels like to write the story of your soul? It’s as though a part of you has been cut out and placed on a pedestal for the whole world’s enjoyment, critiqued and judged under society’s limiting microscope. For all my life, I thought that I had written who I was onto the page, but I was wrong; they were mere fragments of who I was. This was the first time I had ever written the song in my heart on to the pages of a book, bound and on display for everyone to see. It’s exhausting. I never knew how exhausting it could and would be. But now, as I sit here, staring at my blinking cursor, waiting for the words to come as they often have, I find that I have nothing left inside. All my creativity. All that I was and am. Gone. They say, write the book you want to read. I have and it has left be drained, a dry husk of a person. I am but a shadow of my former self. But i’ve done it. I’ve written something I’m truly proud of, something I’m proud to say is my own. I have always hidden behind my writing and used it as a mask. I was always a stronger person through my words. Not anymore. Now the world truly knows who I am and I can never take it back. Read my unapologetic words and my defiance, etched and immortalized in my legacy.

One day, I’ll be able to write again, but until then I will practice and polish the skills that I have already acquired. I hope that through it I will heal and find myself again in ways that no one can take away. It will be then that I shall write again.

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