Archive for the ‘Lawyer’s Calendar: Jokes, Anecdotes and the like’ Category
He clearly knew what he was talking about. As much as you poke fun at us, we are necessary. Get over it.
So today’s calendar quote of the day said: justice is the crowning glory of the virtues. I love judges, and I love courts. They are my ideals that typify on earth what we shall meet hereafter in heaven under a just God.” -William Howard Taft- And the then next day the quote says: “A judge should be about sixty, clean-shaven, with white hair, china-blue eyes, and suffer from hemorrhoids so that he will have that concerned look.”
WHAT?! LOL That’s so funny! Oh calendar, how I love thee.
A very respectable lawyer was filing some insurance papers when he came to the question: “If you father is dead, state the cause.” Unwilling to reveal that his father had been hanged for cattle rustling, the lawyer evaded the problem by answering this way: “He died while taking part in a public ceremony when the platform gave way.”
From Actual Court Records:
Defense Attorney: Then I object to the District Attorney objecting to my objecting to standard legal objections
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute
6. Is that a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the No. 1 dirty law statement…Think you can get me off?