Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Perpetuity

For once I wish I wasn’t right
The wounds are still fresh
And though I want what’s best for you
My heart isn’t ready for you to fall in love with someone else so soon

You will always hold a part of me
The part that I’ve give you
The part that will always be yours
That piece is your piece alone
No one can take that away
From me
Or from you

I still hear your voice before I fall asleep each night
I still hear you saying to me
“See, I still love you.”

But do you?
Did you?

You couldn’t see the signs I saw
And I always took you to be a better man
Hell, I still believe in that
But to drop me like I meant nothing
To pursue her so soon after
I really was nothing

At the end
In the end
You weren’t there emotionally anymore

I could feel that I didn’t mean as much to you
You didn’t look as me like I was gold
Not anymore
I wasn’t the only girl in the world
I was just yesterday’s garbage

Nobody
And nobody would notice
If I were to slip away
Quietly
Slowly

For a world doesn’t need me
A girl with too many tears
A heart shattered to sand
Blowing away in the wind

Logic and reason keep telling me you’re not right for me
My heart remains unconvinced
So I fight back the tears
But like a dam
They cannot be stopped

But I am also strong
I am also the girl who will prove to the world she doesn’t need anyone but herself
And forever I’ll wear this mask
And tell the lie
That I’m always fine

How often I’ve wanted to scream out
To shout
I’m not fine
I can’t do this
I can’t take it anymore
This is the end

But how do you stop
When all your life you’ve maintained this facade?
Worn a mask
And slipped into a body suit of the perfect girl with a perfect life

One thing is for certain
I will love you no matter what
And if I have to sacrifice my happiness
If I have to watch you love someone else
If I have to suffer through eons of pain
I’ll do that for you
Because even if you can’t or don’t love me back
My feelings will never change
You will always be someone I care for
You will always be special

And nothing in the world will ever change that.

 

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