Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Archive for April, 2017

You are the Company You Keep

You are the company you keep
You are the stories you read
The movies you watch
The songs you sing

You are the sports you play
The teams you cheer on
The stories you tell
And the people you love

You cannot escape from who you’ve become
You are a better person because of it
But also worse

You are the company you keep
And they’re not the kinds of people I would call nice
They’re not the kind of people who I would ever befriend
They are loud, obnoxious
And possess qualities I abhor

I may not be able to describe in detail
That which repels me
But I know to trust my gut
To go with my heart
And these are not people I would dare to befriend

We are very different people
You and I
We have our vices
And our flaws

They have become a part of you
And I can’t take that away from you
Either I learn to live with the anger and hatred that comes with being in their presence
Or I break my own heart
By saying good bye
To the one person who I love more than my own life
Who has become the sun by which my world revolves
Extinguished

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Goodbye at Last

He left her there
Crying in the hotel room
To party with his pals

He left her crying
To go drinking
Because he couldn’t deal with her

Even in his embrace
In his kiss goodbye
He didn’t care how hurt and broken her heart had become
He had no love
No affection
No emotion
Left for her

She was a burden
But he had poured in so much time
So much money
That to leave
Was much worse than putting up with her

She lay there while he
Gambled away their future
Drank away their dreams
Becoming more and more hollow
Cold
And distant

When his head cleared
When he realized her words had merit
That behind her tears and vulnerability
Was true love
He didn’t rush up to meet her
He didn’t call or text her

Instead he let her think
He let her wallow in sorrow and self-pity
He let her worry about her insecurities
What was she to him?
Who was she?
Did it matter if she lived or died?

She knew now
That the world would be a better place
That he would be a better man
Without her

No one would miss her
She was sure
She could be replaced

After all
She was just a vessel
To carry a child
What did it matter?
It could be anyone

It had just been fate
Convenience
That threw them together

She loved him
She knew that much
But he didn’t love her
For who could love a nobody
An insecure, bat-shit crazy girl like her?

_______________________

He returned to their room
After drinks and sex
Why couldn’t she be like those easy girls?
Why couldn’t she just give in to his desires?

He glanced at her sleeping form
Shrugging and disappearing into the bathroom

He felt good
And why wouldn’t he?
He hummed to himself
Cleaning up before climbing into bed next to her

But something felt wrong
Something felt strange

He flicked on the lights to find nothing but a bundle of clothes
His heart filled with dread as he called out for her
She didn’t respond
She couldn’t
Not anymore

He found her lying in the bathtub
Still as could be
Pale as the moonlight
Her breath shallow
She lay there drowning in her own blood
Barely aware of his presence

Still
She knew he was there
She knew she had finally proven her courage to do what she had just done
She smiled
One last time
One last breath

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