Reader. Writer. Romantic.

You Call It Love

Maybe you were brought up different than I
Maybe traditions and cultures taught you otherwise
But maybe, just maybe that’s not how I am

Life for me is not about pushes and pulls
Life is not about how long I can persist without praise
If I’ve done good
I’d want to know

All my life
I’ve had to earn my place
To earn your affection
And to do right by you

But have you ever thought
That maybe one day
I’d like to live a life that’s my own?

You thought you were doing good
By telling me what you thought was right
But what’s right for you
Is not for me

I am my own person
With my own personality
I have my own dreams
That aren’t yours

So please
I ask
That you stop manipulating me
That you stop and listen for once
And to see my side of life
Because not everything is my fault
And I can be right too

You can remain calm
I’m sure you’re capable of such a simple task
As you would tell me
But instead you get upset
You scream and you yell
And tell me to shut up
Because I’m useless and stupid
And have no idea what I’m talking about because I’m too young to know such things
And that I have no experience like you do
And afterwards?
When your heart starts to hurt
Who’s fault is it but mine?

You never had to get upset
It’s your own fucking fault
So why can’t you just own up
And admit you’re wrong
Just like you’ve told me to do time and time again

Children have always learned by example
Your actions will always speak louder than your words
So
Why don’t you quit lying to me
And get your own shit together
Before you have the audacity
To tell me what to do

You’ve worn me down
Both of you
Over the years
And I honestly question
My will to live on

You may say that’s the coward’s way out
But I’ve always thought that it takes a lot of courage
To finally accept
That you can’t try any harder
That you’ve done your very best,
Which will never be enough

I doubt you’d even cry
If today I died
All you’d have to say
Is how stupid I was to throw away such a great life
That I didn’t know real hardship

Well let me say
It hasn’t been easy
And it won’t get easier

It’s high time I take back what is mine
And live it the way I dreamt it would be
Even if it means I cut you out of my life

 

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