Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Archive for January, 2016

Twisted Love

There are so many ways to say I love you
Be careful
Buckle up
You just have to listen

But that’s not how I grew up
That’s not how I learned of love
I learned of love through pain and bruises
I learned of love through breaking to pieces
And had to learn to put myself back together each day just to face the world again
I learned that no one could love me
Not with all my scars
Nor did they dare to traverse my emotional minefield
I learned to love myself
To be alone
to never depend on anyone else for my happiness

I learned too early
What it was not to trust
For no one wants a shattered soul

We all want what’s best for us
But there comes a time
To not be selfish
And that is when we grow
From girl to woman
From boy to man

And until that is learned
We live in a society of children

You Call It Love

Maybe you were brought up different than I
Maybe traditions and cultures taught you otherwise
But maybe, just maybe that’s not how I am

Life for me is not about pushes and pulls
Life is not about how long I can persist without praise
If I’ve done good
I’d want to know

All my life
I’ve had to earn my place
To earn your affection
And to do right by you

But have you ever thought
That maybe one day
I’d like to live a life that’s my own?

You thought you were doing good
By telling me what you thought was right
But what’s right for you
Is not for me

I am my own person
With my own personality
I have my own dreams
That aren’t yours

So please
I ask
That you stop manipulating me
That you stop and listen for once
And to see my side of life
Because not everything is my fault
And I can be right too

You can remain calm
I’m sure you’re capable of such a simple task
As you would tell me
But instead you get upset
You scream and you yell
And tell me to shut up
Because I’m useless and stupid
And have no idea what I’m talking about because I’m too young to know such things
And that I have no experience like you do
And afterwards?
When your heart starts to hurt
Who’s fault is it but mine?

You never had to get upset
It’s your own fucking fault
So why can’t you just own up
And admit you’re wrong
Just like you’ve told me to do time and time again

Children have always learned by example
Your actions will always speak louder than your words
Why don’t you quit lying to me
And get your own shit together
Before you have the audacity
To tell me what to do

You’ve worn me down
Both of you
Over the years
And I honestly question
My will to live on

You may say that’s the coward’s way out
But I’ve always thought that it takes a lot of courage
To finally accept
That you can’t try any harder
That you’ve done your very best,
Which will never be enough

I doubt you’d even cry
If today I died
All you’d have to say
Is how stupid I was to throw away such a great life
That I didn’t know real hardship

Well let me say
It hasn’t been easy
And it won’t get easier

It’s high time I take back what is mine
And live it the way I dreamt it would be
Even if it means I cut you out of my life


Restaurant Review: National

Location: 225 8th Ave SW (Scotia Centre)

Though it’s classified as a restaurant, I wouldn’t exactly call National a restaurant, but then again it’s not exactly a pub or a bar either, so I suppose restaurant it is. Both of my parents have been to National before, one for a casual lunch and the other for a work hosted lunch. Both said that it was horrible, so naturally, I had to try it out for myself. Today I went with my sister and cousin.

My sister and I ordered a dry vanilla bean soda and my cousin had  a Village Monk Chai Porter 6.2%. I have never had a dry soda before and I’ve always wondered what dry alcohol was like…well now I know. Weirdest sensation in my mouth ever. The vanilla bean was very light, almost undetectable. It was a good experience, but not ordering that again. I’ll just stick to water since everything here is super salty. I have no idea what the porter tasted like, but not liking alcohol I’d probably say it’s bitter and gross and I don’t like it, lol.

I had been craving wings for weeks and I suppose this was my chance to go for some. Being a Wednesday, it was their special to have one pound of wings for $5, but it was only applicable after 3 and I wasn’t in the mood to wait until then for them. Knowing National’s reputation, I knew not to go for typical lunch items like the Mac and Cheese or any such things like my parents had. Instead we stuck to things under “Snacks and Standards,” the staples of a bar-pub-restaurant. We ordered the spicy hoisin wings, two bite corn dogs, and deep fried pickles. Originally we had intended to split them, have half spicy hoisin and the other half honey mustard, but were informed that we couldn’t do that (waitress said it isn’t our policy to do so). My sister then noted that that wouldn’t be enough food for the three of us and ordering more appetizer style foods would become quite costly, so we decided on a fish and chips.

The appetizers came first. As expected, the freshly cut vegetables paired with the wings were carrots and celery, which were very crudely cut. However, I didn’t expect there to only be 10 wings. For $14, I expected a little more than 10 wings, two carrot sticks, and two celery sticks. The flavour was good, spicy and sweet as promised, but not good enough to warrant a price that high. The fried pickles weren’t terrible, but they weren’t amazing either, though on the salty side as to be expected of food typically paired with beer or some sort of alcohol. I preferred National’s pickles to Buffalo Wild Wings because spears are easier to handle than slices, but I liked that Buffalo Wild Wings went with a smoky chipotle sauce rather than the slightly overused, classic, ranch dip. The corn dogs which I was most looking forward to turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. I would say the choice to use a wiener with a case similar to those used on European wieners was commendable, the fact that is was buried and suffocated by the batter made it nearly undetectable. And the dipping sauce, the ballpark mustard, though different didn’t really live up to its name. It was a refreshing contrast to the two ranch dips with the wings and pickles, and there was a bit of tartness, but there was no uplifting zing that I expected from mustard.

Normally I really look forward to fish and chips, but I was disappointed yet again. The fish was greasy and the chips over-salted. The fish didn’t hold together well, crumbling the minute I tried to pick it up with my fork. The one wedge of lemon was hardly enough for one piece, let alone three pieces. I wish that they had some vinegar to go along with it as it would have helped to cut through the heaviness of the deep fried fish. Tartar sauce, though cream based still has a tartness to it, this tartar sauce did not have a single bright note on my palate. It was almost as bad as putting whipped butter into my mouth. The last thing on the plate, the coleslaw could have saved it, but it didn’t. It was bland and boring and honestly, there was no point to have it there at all. I think we would have made a better choice choosing a slider or a different main.

My assessment of the place is that everything was overpriced, over-salty, and very heavy. Service wasn’t great, but I didn’t expect it to be. In my experience, the service in places like these is on the negligent side. People tend to want to be left alone to their conversations rather than constantly interrupted by the waitress, which I understand and agree with. However, when you say a couple minutes and your waitress doesn’t come back for 15, it’s a bit annoying. Furthermore, when we asked for a split bill, we were told that it isn’t possible to split the food onto separate bills. Like really? Then why did you ask if we wanted separate bills in the first place?

I won’t be coming back to say the least. Next time I want bar food and drinks, I’ll make the extra effort to go across town to Buffalo Wild Wings. My parents said it was terrible, I should have taken their word for it. I’d rate it 1.5/5 because it is not worse than noodle box in Vancouver from some years back (at least I could eat this stuff), but I’d say I was being generous with that rating


National Interior

da drink

Dry Vanilla Bean Soda

fish and chips

Fish and Chips

the appies

Spicy Hoisin Wings, Deep Fried Pickles, and Two Bite Corn Dogs



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