Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Archive for December, 2014

New Year Resolutions

It’s that time again and no one wants to hear it, but I’m gonna say it anyways. It’s time for those new year resolutions that people never follow through on. All that crap about new year, new me? Well, it’s happening. I’ve never actually had any new years resolutions, I just do things when I felt like it. Just made a goal, set a deadline, and hoped for the best. For the most part, my goals were pretty short term, a couple months maybe and accomplished! So this year I’m gonna try to do a new year’s resolution, something that I will have to work at every day for one full year. After that year, it’s my intention to maintain the results.

What is my resolution you may ask? Well, take a guess. What is almost everyone’s resolution at this time of year? If you guessed: to lose weight, you’d be right. For the last few years I’ve been steadily gaining weight and I’m really not happy about it. Not just for aesthetic reasons (because yeah, I don’t like my fat, squishy stomach), but also for health. I’d like to get back to the level of physical activity I did when I used to be in junior high. I miss playing badminton, going swimming, and even for a short run. I plan on getting back into all of those things. Obviously, it’s easier to go for a run or go swimming than it is to go play badminton because I have no idea where I can find a court and friends to play with consistently. The only place I can think of to rent time on a court is Cardel Place and eventually that is going to get expensive and I’m going to be broke. Which leads me to my next resolution. Saving money. This year I’ve spent a lot of money (like half of my income lots) and it’s primarily been on food. If I watch what I eat (aka don’t eat out as much) I can save money, but also, it will be much better for my health since it’s a bit harder to control what gets added into your food when you go out to eat as opposed to making it yourself.

My final goal is to get to bed earlier. My brain works at weird times and since I took two months off to study, I’ve been able to sleep in and stay up late. I’ve always been a morning person, but I’d like to say I’m kind of a night person too. However, my brain functions differently at those two times of the day. My brain is best for logical/critical thinking in the early hours of the morning so any time from 6am-11am, while at night, from around 8pm-3am, it’s better for socialization and creative compositions (my best ideas for writing come to me at these times). It also works out that I hate talking to people in the morning and I am super pissy, so if you try to talk to me at this time I will probably bite your head of. The fact that I hate people at this time of day allows me to sit down and focus on the task at hand, getting things done a lot faster than I usually would. But what about from noon to seven? I am useless between this time, aĀ complete and utter blob; in other words, useless. I usually occupy myself playing games at this time or just lounge around in bed for a few hours talking to myself.

I am really excited about improving my health and lower my weight as I am now considered overweight. I recently lost ten pounds, but regained them while I was studying since I stress eat. I am frustrated at myself for that, but I am confident that I will be able to lose 30 in the course of this year and keep them off. When I lost that weight, I gained a lot of confidence in myself. Not only did I look good, but I felt a lot better because I was groggy all the time (not sure why though). The compliments on my appearance really did help boost the little self-esteem I had and though I’m afraid I’ll become over-confident, I just need to be conscious of what I do and say, that’s all. I’ve already started my own fitness journal and for those who know me, they know that I have a very obsessive personality. When I get an idea in my head, I go way overboard and totally get into it. It is really intense and I hope that I can maintain this enthusiasm for the whole year. Maybe the progress and little rewards along the way will help me keep this goal.

I’m curious to hear if any of my followers have any resolutions of their own this year. If you’d like, feel free to share them with me in the comments. šŸ˜€

Happy New Year Everyone!

2014 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,300 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 22 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Temporary arrangements

Too many months
Have come and gone
Who was once something special
Has lost your lustre
Once the object of your primary affection
Is now nothing less than forgotten

Once upon a time
We couldn’t stop
Thinking of each other
Chatting late into the night
But now that has all been lost
Novelty has given way to reality
And the charm you once had
The devotion you once showed
Has grown old and tired

Let not me
Be the one who maintains
Let not me
Defy the comforts of stereotypes long established

I am a new woman
Stuck in old conventions
Waiting still for my knight in shining armour
My Prince Charming
To sweep me from my dragon kept tower

I am no prisoner
Nor a damsel in distress
I need only to open the door
But yet I do not
I sit and I wait
For another trinket
Another novelty
To entertain and be entertained by
Until he comes

Christmas: A lesson on commercialism and fairness

It seems that almost every holiday has lost all the original meaning that was once behind it. Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Halloween, to name a few, have all become days of mass commercialism. As a child, my mentality, like many others, had been very egocentric. Everything was about me and if I got the most presents or the most expensive presents then that meant that I was superior to my peers. But now that I’ve had a chance to study the ideologies that underlie the basis of society, I can see how flawed that thinking was. To begin with, it was not even my money; it was the money of my parents. Their wealth did not necessarily equate to mine. Even if I stood to inherit everything, if I didn’t put myself to good use that money would be entirely spentĀ in less time than you could say “Merry Christmas.”

The other day I heard something on the radio that really made me think and resulted in me writing this rant. The host said, “Make the gift from Santa something modest and reserve the big, expensive gifts from you because how do you explain to your child and have them explain to their classmate why Santa gave them an xbox while their classmate only got a pair of socks, all that their parents could afford.” This was really important to me because it was something I had never thought of. For so many years, it just seemed intuitive to make the expensive, luxurious gifts come from Santa, while parents provided more practical gifts. But now that I think of it, the reaction would have been exactly the same. Assuming that everyone knows by this time that Santa is really just you buying things under an assumed name. And that’s exactly what consumerist society has taught us. We purchase and give gifts as a way to put others into debt, to make them in someway indebted to us (thanks cultural anthropology for teaching me that), but giving gifts would not be fulfilling if it wasn’t for the reaction we receive. Now I’m sure there are some people who don’t give gifts for that purpose and I shouldn’t generalize, but most people do. I mean what fun would it be if you got the best gift for someone and all they said was “oh cool thanks” and put it aside. You would be heartbroken and worrying whether or not they like your gift. Even if the other person faked their enthusiasm, that is satisfaction enough.

Christmas isn’t about buying the most expensive gifts on the market. It’s about the irreplaceable time spent with loved ones. Everything is transient and you can never have what you had before. As sad as a thought this may be, it is reality. The aesthetes and decadents of the 1890s taught me that much. The transience of people, of events makes them all the more important. If you had things forever, they would cease to be beautiful, cease to hold the same awe, and importance to you. Holidays are about creating memories, cherishing loved ones, and I’m really disappointed that this is what so many holidays have now become.


“The Devil makes his Christmas pie of lawyers’ tongues” -English Proverb

Game Review: Pasta, Passion, and Pistols

This game truly made for a night to remember, though I wish I had been a little more prepared and had the gameplay a little more integrated into the party itself. Another complaint, nothing to do with the game itself was the lack of enthusiasm from some of the other actors. I felt that only a couple of people took the game seriously enough and acted making me feel as though I was overacting.

The story itself seems too perfect; it sounded like a story ripped out of my own mind. Twisted with a mess of family relations. When I had first picked up this game off the shelf, I had been put off by the cheesy names, but soon they grew on me. The character names were cute and I began to see my own friends as those characters…if only they had actually gotten into it. I would have liked it better if they had been more interactive with each other. Getting confrontational instead of saying things like “I’m going to challenge you now” as it was worded in the instruction booklet. Another thing was people getting confused over the wording and the tenses. My suggestion would have been to read through the points and summarize them in character as I had done.

It was a very cleverly put together game and I enjoyed playing it. I would definitely want to buy and play this game again, but just next time, better food, more control (like I should take a more leadership like role unlike this time), and better acting is all I ask for.

Unfortunately, this game can only be played once since there is a predetermined killer. Maybe I can replay it with a different group of friends and see if they can figure it out. And in an attempt to not spoil this game for others, there isn’t much I can say about this game.

Let’s just say this review is more about my abilities as a host rather than the game itself. This was quite the experience and i would certainly love to try doing this again.

I would rate this game 4.5/5 because I can’t resist and interactive murder mystery game.


You can say what you want
But I know your heart
I know that late at night
When you think that no one is watching
When you think the world’s asleep
You cry yourself to sleep
Remembering me

But we were over before we even began
You didn’t want it
Anymore than I did
So why do you linger now?
Reminiscing over memories that never were
Dreaming and begging for my attention

You could have saved yourself a lot of hurt
If only you had kept your promise

More than just a Pretty Face

I’d like to think
That behind this smile
Behind these eyes
That dazzle and bewilder
There is something of substance left

I’d like to think
That I can think
To debate and win
An intellectual battle
Without resorting to ad hominid attacks

It’s sad to me
To think of me
As nothing more than a pretty face

I can’t stand to be useless
Yet, feel that I am
That I’ll never measure up
To the standard of my peers

Killing Hate

Is an emotion that runs deep
That stems from that which we love most

Is an emotion that burns passionately
It is for and against those who we love most

It would be my pleasure
I would like nothing more
Than to put an end to what is nearest and dearest to my heart
To kill off the darlings I have created

One day I will have had enough
And it won’t just be my darlings I put an end to
One day it will be you
Your body lying still
Your mouth never again telling me what to do
What to say
Or what to think
For once in your life
You cannot critique me
Scold me
Or reprimand me
For the choices I make about my life
For once you’ve shut up
I live and I wait
For that day
When I will mourn your absence
But rejoice your silence

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