Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Archive for October, 2014

Quote

“I am not so afraid of lawyers as I used to be. They are lambs in wolves’ clothing.” -Edna St. Vincent Millay

It’s that time of year

Ah, so it seems it is that time of year again. When the air is crisp and freezes upon inhalation, just the way I like it. A time when little psychos hyped up on too much sugar are running around trying to obtain more sugar. But this is not the time I am referring to. No. In two days, National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo begins.

For those who don’t know what NaNoWriMo is, I’ll explain. Essentially, it’s a challenge to write a 50 000 word novel in one month, that month being November. In my first year doing it, I didn’t understand why they would pick this month of all months and frankly, I still have no clue why November. November is possibly the worst month to have this challenge in. In addition to the number of writing contests that happen in November, it is also the time of midterms and second midterms and papers.

The first year I participated was 2012 and happily, I was able to finish my novel titled Eternal Bonds. It was published through Createspace, but is not available in stores or as an ebook primarily because it is a U.S. based company and I didn’t have the patience to try to figure out how to navigate the taxation system and stuff for if I did end up selling any copies of my book. I attempted to write again in November 2013, but decided that doing full time studies (5 courses a semester), working part-time (every weekend), and studying for the LSAT was insane enough and I didn’t need to add 50 000 words of a novel on top of all the stress I already had. That novel I had wanted to be a historical novel set in the 1890s in England, but unfortunately that didn’t happen and I eventually lost interest.

This will be the second year I will be participating and I intend to finish this novel as I did the last! I am particularly excited for this year’s novel because this will show and explore a side of my that the world has never seen. There have been hints of it in my poetry, but nothing as comprehensive as this. My biggest fear about this novel, because it is written in first person, is that I will turn my character into a Mary Sue (AGAIN!). That is the last thing I want and I do want to show that she is like me, human, but of course I want her to be well liked, don’t we all? Now in preparation for this craziness that will be coming, a lot of blogs and pages I like and follow have shared truckloads of encouraging quotes and tips. My favourite among them is in regards to the characters. It said, “your characters are your children. You may think you know who they are, and who they are going to be, but you have no control over them. Be a good parent and don’t force your characters to be what you want them to be.” This is so important because I often create scenes that go in a direction I never anticipate, but sometimes (like in my last novel) I made my character react in a way that I needed them to react in order to achieve a certain result. This year I think I will try to just let the story unfold naturally. If my characters want to fight each other, I’ll let them. If they want to forgive each other, fine, so be it. I will not force a resolution where it seems unnatural and hopefully by doing so I won’t end up with another Mary Sue.

For this year’s novel, I have kind of taken some ideas I was going to use in my historical fiction novel and transplanted them here. This will be the first lengthy work that is not set in the past. Though I’ve technically only published one novel, I have dozens of manuscripts stashed away in a drawer set in far away countries in different time periods. As I’ve grown older, I have turned to more local settings. A sense of realism in my novels has become more important. Though I do write about the supernatural, it is usually set in places I have been too or researched extensively.

It is still my dream to write a time travel story similar to the magic treehouse stories of my childhood, but perhaps a little later. I do wonder if I can reach 50 000 words with those because if so, I’d like to make it into a series, doing one novel a year for NaNoWriMo.

Most of this sounds quite lazy. I mean, just writing a novel when it’s November rather than taking the effort to find an agent or publishing company to legitamately publish my work? And really it is laziness. I won’t deny that, but currently I am overwhelmed with school and trying to pass my LSAT again since last year under all that stress I was unable to get a score I could be happy with. Once law school is out of the way, I will begin to work on novels for publishing through an agent/publishing company.

I’m really excited for this year’s because I have so many more friends participating alongside me. I can’t wait to see what we all come up with at month’s end! Good luck to my fellow writers.

Attachment

It’s a strange thing
The way you make me feel

One touch
Was all it took

I promised not to love you
I promised we’d just be friends

But oh how that kiss sent my head spinning
Oh how my head spun for days

Until our next meeting

Far more intimate
Far more …more affectionate

Yet I felt nothing
No sense of what I had felt before
My head did not spin
My heart did not long for you

I was not in love
Just as I promised

Worry

Now and forever
It will be my fatal flaw
Always thinking of the what ifs
Always overthinking the possibilities

I may seem hesitant
I may seem reluctant
I may seem scared
To act

But do not mistaken my worry
My inaction
For regret
For I regret nothing
And I certainly do not
Regret that which I gave you

I love you
With all my heart
And I just want to see you happy
I want nothing in return
To see you fulfilled
Is good enough for me

This is who I am

Look at me
On the surface
And tell me who I am

Can you see
On the surface
What’s below?

Can you tell
By listening
What I believe?

Those who think they know me
Don’t know me at all
Those who don’t know me
Know me better than all

Look at my writing
And you will see my heart
Experience my pain
And embrace my solitude

I am not alone
I have lived a thousand lives
I am happier this way

 

 

One Thing Leads to Another

When we first met
On a mid-autumn’s eve
I knew you had my heart
From the first
Hello
To the last goodbye
Your charm swept from my mind
All doubt of finding love
Truly
You are a gentleman
And worthy to be called as such
Chivalry is dead
But not in you
You are my knight in shining armour
And my heart protests to let you go
Each moment I spend away from you
Is another moment I spend
In eternal misery
I can’t live without you
If only you knew
That dinner leads to dinner
Love
Sex
And marriage
If only you knew my heart
You would know
Loneliness is temporary when you are here

But let’s not get carried away
I want a man who wants me
In every sense of that word
To love me
And let me live
And dream
And be all that I can be

A knight must know his limitations
A knight must allow his lady freedom
Without those things
He is a tyrant
And if that is you
Let me alone
For solitude
Is better than a gilded cage

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