Reader. Writer. Romantic.

Child of Circumstance

Prompt: Take a cliché, idiom or overused convention/concept and make it new or turn it on its head (reinterpret or argue against)

The most common advice I’ve received is that happiness starts with me or comes from within or whatever, but really, I don’t believe a word of it. Okay, not true. I partially believe it because yes, there are like seven billion people on this planet and I shouldn’t let one lousy piece of sh*t ruin my day, but sometimes that’s how it goes. In fact that exact thing happened today. And that situation showed perfectly how something so crappy can influence a person so differently. My first reaction was to cry, but because the guy was such an asshole, I doubt my tears would have had any sort of effect on him. My co-worker on the other hand was so angry she was physically shaking and couldn’t mentally do anything except for tell him off as nice as she could possibly do so even if he didn’t deserve it. Now worse things can happen and even then will you tell me I should just forget a personal attack as though I have no feelings. I am just not that kind of person. Yes, I will burn out because of how I react to situations and deal with them but I have always chosen to be the moth. To immolate myself on a flame because I would rather feel. To live. Rather than to hold it all inside to pretend I don’t care and just let it go.

But you would stick to your ideology right? You would choose to be happy. To ignore the negativity. But tell me this. If you beloved cat died, your leg put into a meat grinder and served to you and your sister cannibalized, would you still try to be happy? The point is, is that even if you choose happiness it’s not something that can be done forever. Gosh, that would be so exhausting. I just don’t believe that you wouldn’t feel negative emotions. I believe more so that you and I are shaped by the world around us and that we often mirror the world around us. We are a reflection and product of society and if you believe that, I’ve got you halfway. You or I may choose happiness, but that does not guarantee happiness. I have woken up on many an occasion and thought to myself, “Today I will let no one ruin it.” And it is those days that are always the worst. If I think to myself, this will be a sh*tty day and it turns out better than I expected, well then I have a good day. So thank you for your advice, but I won’t be taking it. Just let me wallow in my despair. I’m much happier then anyways.

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